Gus Muldoon's Infamous Seldomly-Updated Blog

I've seen many ridiculous things in my day, but the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen was a recent article about how the popular dating website OkCupid has expanded its gender options, in an effort to appease those lamebrains who feel the need to lavish themselves with a self-aggrandizing, yet meritless, label. Yes, folks, gone are the days of being male or female or straight or gay, because now, according to OkCupid, you now have the option of being asexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, pansexual, genderqueer, agender, intersex, transgender, pangender, transmasculine, transfeminine and two spirit (whatever the hell that is). Give me a break! As everyone knows, there are only two possible genders- male and female. This is science. We're talking basic biology here. But of course, in today's society, we have to cater to the whims of the overly-sensitive liberal chucklehead nincompoops who would be "offended" to discover that they only had tw...

Have you or a loved one suffered mental anguish after being fondled by Bill Cosby? If so, you may be entitled to a large cash settlement. Our team of skilled attorneys are standing by, and will fight hard to get you the money you deserve- even if you've waited a decade and a half like a gold-digging fame-seeking harpy to come forward with your claim! So, if you or a loved one were fondled by Bill Cosby, call Attention Whore Legal Services today at 1-800-PUDDN-POP and speak with one of our experts right now. Just listen to these endorsements from some of our clients! "I was barely making ends meet as a stripper and small-time prostitute, but then my pimp told me about Attention Whore Legal. They helped me concoct a story about being raped by three white Duke University lacrosse players. Even though the young men whose lives I ruined were later cleared, I got my fifteen minutes of fame thanks to Attention Whore Legal. And if I hadn't gotten myself convicted of ma...