Gus Muldoon's Infamous Seldomly-Updated Blog

I'll admit it- I hate babies.  But if there's anything I hate more than babies, it's expectant mothers who assume that everyone else on Earth is as enamored with each disgusting pregnancy development as they are themselves.  Thanks to the wonders of technology, a new app called BabyBump allows obnoxious, self-absorbed mommies-to-be an opportunity to annoy the hell out of their Facebook friends with daily posts about the parasitic hellspawns growing inside their tummies.  And let's face it, you have to be pretty darn self-absorbed to think that anyone other than yourself gives a rat's fart in the wind about what's taking place inside your bloated body 173 days into your pregnancy. According to the BabyBump website, the app is a "pregnancy tracker and social health network for expecting families", providing expecting mothers with a "schematic embryo picture of your baby each week" as well as a bunch of useless junk only a woman would care ...

Earlier today I took my five year-old grandson to the local playground and was looking forward to showing him how to climb on the monkeybars.  I was aghast when I discovered that the monkeybars had been taken down years before, all because some kid fell and cracked open his noggin like a ripened coconut.  Maybe children these days have softer heads, I don't know. When I was a boy I had climbed all over the monkeybars and fell numerous times, and I turned out just fine.  These days, parents coddle their kids so much that if they get a scraped knee they get taken to the emergency room for a full battery of tests.  If this continues, in a few years our nation will become one inhabited by a bunch of sissies. You see, kids need to grow up believing that they are strong enough to handle all of life's hardships.  Kids need to be made aware that mama's not always going to be around to kiss their boo boos. Fortunately, my parents were keenly aware of this and they ...