A study completed by the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia has confirmed what most people have long known: Old people stink. That's right, folks. The old person smell which assaults your nostrils when visiting grandma's house is a real biological phenomenon. However, researchers haven't been able to figure out what exactly causes this geezer-funk to take place. Well, don't worry, Science. Gus Muldoon has all the answers. Since we all agree that old person odor is as offensive as a tap-dancing Norwegian in blackface, it's safe to assume that the odor is connected with something unpleasant. Death readily comes to mind. Put a piece of meat on a dinner plate and stick it in a room for 80 years and I guarantee it will stink. What you are smelling is the decomposition of flesh- and since old-timers already have one foot in the grave, I believe the old timer smell is simply nature's way of whispering in our ear, "Hey, gramps, jus...