Why Sandra Bland was responsible for her own death

And why anyone who disagrees is a blithering idiot

By now you're probably familiar with Sandra Bland, the obnoxious, potty-mouthed, racist stoner who hanged herself inside her Texas jail cell after a confrontation with police. If you're not familiar with this incident, here's what happened in a nutshell:

Bland, a self-professed "civil rights activist", was pulled over by Texas state trooper Brian Encinia on July 10 for driving like a pot-head and failing to use her turn signal. Things got out of hand after Encinia asked her to put out her cigarette. After Bland mouthed off to the officer she was told to step out of the car. Bland, of course, refused. She continued to escalate what otherwise would have been a routine traffic stop and eventually was tackled to the ground, booked for resisting arrest and taken to jail, where she later took her own life.

Now, millions of idiots have taken to Twitter calling for "justice" for this ill-tempered, slow-witted, verbally abusive stoner who displayed a total lack of respect to authorities. But it was more than Ms. Bland's contempt for the law that ultimately led to her own demise- it was her own racism.

That's right.

Would Bland have displayed the same contempt if the officer who pulled her over had been black? If you answered "yes", you obviously have the intellect of a garden slug with Down's Syndrome. We all know damn well that if Brian Encinia had been black, Bland would've obeyed orders and the entire incident would have been avoided.

And yet thousands of Twittiots have the mind-boggling absurdity to allege that Trooper Encinia was the racist! Please. Contrary to popular belief, when we white folks get pulled over, the police officer does not bring us a Starbucks latte and offer to rub out feet in exchange for stock tips. It doesn't matter if you're Casper the friggin' ghost because, no matter how white you are, once you start verbally abusing the badge you've already started stacking the cards against yourself. In other words, Trooper Encinia's actions- right or wrong- most likely would have remained the same regardless of the driver's race. Bland's actions, on the other hand, most likely would have been different if the trooper had been black. And here's a newsflash to all you lame-brained morons out there: that's the fucking definition of racism!

Even more absurd are the claims that Bland was somehow murdered, rather than taking her own life. Bland's own family clings to this belief the same way a backwoods Southern yokel clings to the Confederate Flag. Nevermind that on her own intake form, Bland admitted to previously attempting suicide. Or that her autopsy revealed that she was baked like Grandma's fudge brownies. Or that the motion-detecting cameras in her cell showed that no one other than Bland herself was in the cell. Some folks just have a hard time dealing with reality, even when logic pops a squat and takes a dump all over their pretty little preconcieved notions of what reality is.

 


And the reality of this situation is that Bland's own actions, decisions, prejudices, sense of entitlement, lack of respect and piss-poor attitude all contributed to her demise. This much can be gleaned by the fact that she couldn't get hold of a single person who could bail her out of jail. This vile woman, now heralded as some sort of civil rights icon, couldn't even get in touch with a single soul who was willing to help her get out of the slammer. And, for the record, her $5000 bail was set ridiculously low for someone charged with resisting arrest (maybe the judge at her preliminary hearing was a racist too).

Kinda makes the Sandy Hook Truthers seem like Nobel Laureates by comparison.

If you're a Sandra Bland supporter, there's a good chance you were probably too preoccupied with skipping class and smoking herb in the school lavatory too learn anything from civics class (or maybe you're just too much of a bonehead), so let me elucidate: In most jurisdictions, you only need to put up 10% of the bail amount to get released. That's right, folks- this so-called civil rights "hero" couldn't wrangle up five hundred clams to save her own skin. That's a sad commentary on how much her so-called friends and family thought of her. But, hey, as we all know, it's kinda hard to make friends when you're a self-entitled bigot with a chip on your shoulder the size of Texas.

Yes, Ashtynn, it's so much more reliable to get your news from Twitter.

Yep, I said it: If you're a Sandra Bland supporter, you're probably a bonehead. Anyone following #JusticeForSandraBland can simply read the various tweets and be amazed at how mortifyingly dumb some of these supporters are.

  


Alright, I'm going to stop now before my head implodes.