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Teach a millenial a lesson about life-- order a Unicorn Frappuccino

By now you've probably seen the videos on YouTube or Facebook of some millenial snowflake Starbucks barista having a meltdown about having to make a Unicorn Frappuccino. "It's just so damn complicated to make!" some of them have ranted. "And the customers, they just keep coming!" Or, in the words of Braden Burson, the barista from Colorado whose video has gone viral: "If you love us as baristas, don't order it. It is sooo difficult to make, and people were coming in left and right, drive thru and in the front!" Obviously, young teat-sucklers like Braden are in dire need of a valuable lesson about life. You see, life is a lot like making a Unicorn Frappuccino-- it's not supposed to be easy. Sadly, today's young Americans would much rather retreat into their gender-neutral "safe spaces" than develop anything that closely resembles a work ethic. If you're a millenial barista working at Starbucks to put yourself thro...
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In defense of high school football

Once again, high school football is under attack by lame-brained, limp-wristed, lily-livered pantywaists who believe that anyone who straps on a jock is taking the first irrevocable step toward an inevitable, premature departure from this mudball called Earth. The latest anti-jock rhetoric comes in the wake of the death of New Jersey high school senior quarterback Evan Murray, a tragedy that followed the deaths of two other high school athletes in recent weeks, Ben Hamm from Oklahoma, and Tyrell Cameron from Louisiana. With three kids gone to meet their maker in as many weeks, it's only natural that over-protective parents throw a hissy hit over the glorious American institution that is high school football. However, this anti-jock fervor is nothing more than contemporary culture's latest attempt to neuter the American male-- a project that has been going on for decades, as part of the left-wing agenda to transform red-blooded American boys into sniveling wimps who would ...

GOP candidates as classic Twilight Zone characters!

Anyone who has been following Republican politics this year will tell you that, at times, the race has looked more like The Twilight Zone than actual politics. Here's what the current crop of presidential hopefuls would look like if they were characters from Rod Serling's classic series.

Why Trump had every right to stick it to Megyn Kelly

There were only two things worth watching on the boob tube last night: Jon Stewarts's final show as host of The Daily Show and, of course, the first GOP debate on Fox. Those who missed the latter will no doubt have heard by now the "potshot heard around the world", when Trump essentially gave debate host Megyn Kelly the verbal equivalent of the middle finger. And she deserved it. With media outlets speculating that Teflon Don has a serious issue with women because of his pointed response to the Sweetheart of Fox News, lost in their righteous indignation is the very basic fact that Kelly acted like a midget in a boxing match with a pituitary giant-- she punched below the belt. Early in the debate, Kelly questioned Trump about his temperament, pointing out that Trump had called women "slobs," "disgusting animals" and "fat pigs". Trump, being the fair and nice guy that he actually is, replied that he only made those statements in referenc...

Why Sandra Bland was responsible for her own death

And why anyone who disagrees is a blithering idiot By now you're probably familiar with Sandra Bland, the obnoxious, potty-mouthed, racist stoner who hanged herself inside her Texas jail cell after a confrontation with police. If you're not familiar with this incident, here's what happened in a nutshell: Bland, a self-professed "civil rights activist", was pulled over by Texas state trooper Brian Encinia on July 10 for driving like a pot-head and failing to use her turn signal. Things got out of hand after Encinia asked her to put out her cigarette. After Bland mouthed off to the officer she was told to step out of the car. Bland, of course, refused. She continued to escalate what otherwise would have been a routine traffic stop and eventually was tackled to the ground, booked for resisting arrest and taken to jail, where she later took her own life. Now, millions of idiots have taken to Twitter calling for "justice" for this ill-tempered, sl...