June has been like a vine ripe with idiots, and stupidity was so rampant this month that I had to devote not one, but two columns to the topic. Last week I profiled five mental midgets who should've been wiped out by natural selection long ago, and this week I'll shine the spotlight on five more. So without further ado, I give you Gus Muldoon's Month in Stupidity, Volume 2.
1. Oliver Stone is a limp-wristed lily-livered sack of squirrel scrotums
This week, filmmaker Oliver Stone appeared on CBS This Morning in order to promote his new film, and in the process confessed that he was a doobie-smoking Commie. While extolling the virtues of being a pot-head, Stone reminisced about his days fighting in Vietnam, stating: “[Using marijuana] made the difference between staying human or, as Michael Douglas said, becoming a beast. I’m telling you, it’s rough and a lot of people in that platoon used it, not on the front line but in the back, to stay in touch with themselves. So, I look at that time in my life as really much of a life-saver.” In other words, this limp-wristed lily-livered sack of squirrel scrotums is the reason why so many thousands of Americans came back from Nam in body bags. Instead of shooting the slant-eyed sons of bitches like a real man would have done, Stone preferred to hang in the back, smoke weed, and wear a dress. At least I assume he was wearing a dress, because he's as much of a real man as Chaz Bono. Hell, back in '41 I shot seven Japs. And I wasn't even drafted until '42.
“I was a good soldier, by the way,” Stone went on to say. “I got decorated. I was not a slouch by any means. A lot of guys were like that. We walked out of there relatively whole. A lot of guys were drinking and doing a lot of the killing that I thought was unnecessary."
Hey idiot, war is all about killing. What the hell were you expecting in Vietnam? A tea party? Personally, I'd like to see proof that Mr. Stone was decorated, because last I checked, they didn't hand out medals for being a yellow-bellied coward. If Oliver Stone was decorated in Vietnam, it was probably by Hồ Chà Minh himself. Half a million brave young Americans died in Nam, and it's a shame that Mr. Stone couldn't have been one of them.
2. Elizabeth Lloyd gets hit in the head, but not hard enough (unfortunately).
Last week, a New Jersey woman named Elizabeth Lloyd made news when she filed a lawsuit seeking $150,000.00 against a 13-year old Little League ballplayer. Lloyd claims that she suffered injuries after being struck by a ball that was errantly thrown by a kid who was 11 at the time of the incident. Lloyd and her lawyers claim that the young boy's throw was intentional, leading to "severe, painful and permanent injuries." The lawsuit describes the boy's actions as "assault and battery". Adding to the insanity, the boy is also being sued by the poor loser who had the misfortune of marrying this money-grubbing vulturette. Elizabeth's husband also filed a lawsuit, claiming that he has lost the "services, society and consortium of his wife" as a result of her injury.
Now, I've been to many Little League games, and I've seen dozens of 11-year old boys throw baseballs. However, the typical 11-year old boy throws a baseball about as hard as, well, a fully grown woman. This certainly doesn't say much about the hardness of Ms. Lloyd's head. If she had been born with a head so abnormally soft and fragile, the dumb broad shouldn't have been allowed to leave her house without wearing protective headgear in the first place. No, I don't think her head is abnormally soft, I just think Ms. Lloyd and her husband are money-hungry con artists who have as much reservations about preying on children as Jerry Sandusky.
3. Foul-Mouthed Teacher Turns Media Whore
Earlier in June, a Pennsylvania school teacher was fired, allegedly as the result of her personal blog in which she made tasteless and crude comments about her students. Natalie Munroe had made the news back in February, appearing on several news shows, after she was given a suspension over her expletive-laced blog, and now she is suing the Central Bucks East school district because she feels that her precious "freedom of speech" had been violated as a result of her termination.
What this blithering idiot with a bad Nancy Grace haircut fails to realize is that the First Amendment prevents Congress from passing legislation which restricts an individual's freedom of speech. It doesn't say a damn thing about school districts.
It doesn't say much about our educational system when a teacher knows less about the Constitution than the students. Any third-grader could tell Ms. Munroe that: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
And what supporters of Ms. Munroe fail to realize is that this numbskull wasn't fired over the blog, but simply as the result of her being a lousy teacher. "Ms. Munroe was, at best, a satisfactory teacher, and was experiencing performance difficulties well before her blog became an issue," said school board president Paul Faulkner. I'm not sure what kind of performance difficulties he was referring to, but I'm pretty sure it's a nice way of saying, "You really suck at your job."
After being given her walking papers, the teacher-turned-media-whore made a blog post in which she stated that "It's about freedom of speech. It's about having integrity and not compromising the truth. It's about the downward spiral of our education system and the low value that people place on education."
You're partially right, Natalie. Nothing says integrity like calling your students vulgar names, and no one exemplifies the downward spiral of our educational system better than you.
1. Oliver Stone is a limp-wristed lily-livered sack of squirrel scrotums
This week, filmmaker Oliver Stone appeared on CBS This Morning in order to promote his new film, and in the process confessed that he was a doobie-smoking Commie. While extolling the virtues of being a pot-head, Stone reminisced about his days fighting in Vietnam, stating: “[Using marijuana] made the difference between staying human or, as Michael Douglas said, becoming a beast. I’m telling you, it’s rough and a lot of people in that platoon used it, not on the front line but in the back, to stay in touch with themselves. So, I look at that time in my life as really much of a life-saver.” In other words, this limp-wristed lily-livered sack of squirrel scrotums is the reason why so many thousands of Americans came back from Nam in body bags. Instead of shooting the slant-eyed sons of bitches like a real man would have done, Stone preferred to hang in the back, smoke weed, and wear a dress. At least I assume he was wearing a dress, because he's as much of a real man as Chaz Bono. Hell, back in '41 I shot seven Japs. And I wasn't even drafted until '42.
“I was a good soldier, by the way,” Stone went on to say. “I got decorated. I was not a slouch by any means. A lot of guys were like that. We walked out of there relatively whole. A lot of guys were drinking and doing a lot of the killing that I thought was unnecessary."
Hey idiot, war is all about killing. What the hell were you expecting in Vietnam? A tea party? Personally, I'd like to see proof that Mr. Stone was decorated, because last I checked, they didn't hand out medals for being a yellow-bellied coward. If Oliver Stone was decorated in Vietnam, it was probably by Hồ Chà Minh himself. Half a million brave young Americans died in Nam, and it's a shame that Mr. Stone couldn't have been one of them.
2. Elizabeth Lloyd gets hit in the head, but not hard enough (unfortunately).
 |
| Move over gangstas, there's a new menace to society: Little Leaguers |
Last week, a New Jersey woman named Elizabeth Lloyd made news when she filed a lawsuit seeking $150,000.00 against a 13-year old Little League ballplayer. Lloyd claims that she suffered injuries after being struck by a ball that was errantly thrown by a kid who was 11 at the time of the incident. Lloyd and her lawyers claim that the young boy's throw was intentional, leading to "severe, painful and permanent injuries." The lawsuit describes the boy's actions as "assault and battery". Adding to the insanity, the boy is also being sued by the poor loser who had the misfortune of marrying this money-grubbing vulturette. Elizabeth's husband also filed a lawsuit, claiming that he has lost the "services, society and consortium of his wife" as a result of her injury.
Now, I've been to many Little League games, and I've seen dozens of 11-year old boys throw baseballs. However, the typical 11-year old boy throws a baseball about as hard as, well, a fully grown woman. This certainly doesn't say much about the hardness of Ms. Lloyd's head. If she had been born with a head so abnormally soft and fragile, the dumb broad shouldn't have been allowed to leave her house without wearing protective headgear in the first place. No, I don't think her head is abnormally soft, I just think Ms. Lloyd and her husband are money-hungry con artists who have as much reservations about preying on children as Jerry Sandusky.
3. Foul-Mouthed Teacher Turns Media Whore
 |
| "Posing in front of books gives the impression that I know how to read" |
Earlier in June, a Pennsylvania school teacher was fired, allegedly as the result of her personal blog in which she made tasteless and crude comments about her students. Natalie Munroe had made the news back in February, appearing on several news shows, after she was given a suspension over her expletive-laced blog, and now she is suing the Central Bucks East school district because she feels that her precious "freedom of speech" had been violated as a result of her termination.
What this blithering idiot with a bad Nancy Grace haircut fails to realize is that the First Amendment prevents Congress from passing legislation which restricts an individual's freedom of speech. It doesn't say a damn thing about school districts.
It doesn't say much about our educational system when a teacher knows less about the Constitution than the students. Any third-grader could tell Ms. Munroe that: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
And what supporters of Ms. Munroe fail to realize is that this numbskull wasn't fired over the blog, but simply as the result of her being a lousy teacher. "Ms. Munroe was, at best, a satisfactory teacher, and was experiencing performance difficulties well before her blog became an issue," said school board president Paul Faulkner. I'm not sure what kind of performance difficulties he was referring to, but I'm pretty sure it's a nice way of saying, "You really suck at your job."
After being given her walking papers, the teacher-turned-media-whore made a blog post in which she stated that "It's about freedom of speech. It's about having integrity and not compromising the truth. It's about the downward spiral of our education system and the low value that people place on education."
You're partially right, Natalie. Nothing says integrity like calling your students vulgar names, and no one exemplifies the downward spiral of our educational system better than you.
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