The Inventor of CAPTCHA Deserves a Donkeypunch in his Man-Marbles

For those of you who live in a cave (or a third-world country) and haven't yet mastered the fine art of using the Internet to upload webcam pictures of your ding-dong for the whole world to see, Captcha is the system used by websites that was designed to discourage spammers by requiring a person to enter a series of numbers and letters into a tiny box.

After pressing "enter", you will then be informed that you entered the wrong text and will be presented with a whole new series of squiggles, which you must correctly enter into the box if you want to proceed.

The jackhole behind this nuisance is a 32 year-old nerd by the name of Luis Ahn, who undoubtedly decided that since he couldn't get a date on a Saturday night, he would stay home and devise a malicious plot to complicate the lives of millions of people by subjecting them to a diabolical optometry examination.

This post-pubescent pansy has gone on to make quite a name for himself. Discover Magazine named him one of science's 50 Best Brains, which makes you wonder if they also bestowed the same honor upon a hunk of cheese, a hubcap, or a hooker from Tijuana (any of these could also invent something as "brilliant" as Captcha). If the inventor of Captcha deserves to be named one of the world's best brains, then Gus Muldoon deserves to be voted as the Sexiest Man Alive.

This prick was also named to the Brilliant 10 list by Popular Science Magazine, which also has a habit of glorifying geeks who couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a fist full of bananas.

The problem, my friends, is that we have seriously lowered our standards for greatness. The Wright Brothers, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Marconi, Einstein and Tesla were men who were truly brilliant. Their contributions to humanity improved our lives, rather than making them more difficult. And this, dear friends, is why we should reward Mr. Ahn for his invention by giving him a good old-fashioned donkeypunch in his nerdy man-marbles.

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