A Tribute to the Passengers Aboard the Carnival Triumph Ship
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn sick and tired of hearing about the Carnival cruise ship that's been stranded for about a week in the Gulf of Mexico. News networks have painted these cruisegoers as poor unfortunate victims of unthinkable hardship. Well, I've got news for you folks aboard the luxury cruise vessel- get the hell over yourselves!
For a week, passengers have had to survive by eating tomato and lettuce sandwiches. Oh, the horror! For a week, passengers haven't had running water. Oh, the humanity! For a week, passengers haven't been able to play Angry Birds or update their Facebook statuses. Good God almighty!
In other words, for one week, passengers had the privilege of seeing what 50% of the world's population have to endure each and every day of their poverty-stricken lives. And they didn't even have to purchase a mud hut or contract malaria for the privilege.
That's right, you lettuce-munching sissies, be grateful, because you have been given a rare gift- the ability to experience life through through the eyes of much of the rest of the world. It's only unfortunate that your "horrific ordeal" lasted but a few days. Try living in a grass shack in the rain forest of a third-world country for a decade of your life, and then you've earned the right to beg for sympathy. Try living in a desert cave and eating insects before you give an interview to CNN complaining about your terrible, terrible fate.
Do you know what part of this saga is really sad? It's the fact that most of the spoiled idiots aboard the cruise ship won't learn one damn thing from their experience. You know darn well some slick piranha in a necktie (a.k.a. "lawyer") will end up suing the pants off Carnival Cruise Lines, and each and every poor victim aboard will get a rather comfortable chunk of a class-action settlement. And that's in addition to the 500.00 cash compensation Carnival has already given to each of the passengers.
Unfortunately, these dopes in Bermuda shorts will go back to their everyday lives, while tens of thousands around the world will starve to death. They'll write books about their chilling ordeal and appear on Oprah. They'll come down with PTSD and sue some more, claiming that they have been scarred and emotionally disfigured for life. They'll never be able to look at a tomato again without cringing and remembering that horrifying week in 2013 when they had to live like a large percentage of the world's population who aren't fortunate enough to have a nice shiny toilet to piss into.
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| "I've had to eat tomato sandwiches for a week and pee into a plastic bag. I deserve money" |
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty darn sick and tired of hearing about the Carnival cruise ship that's been stranded for about a week in the Gulf of Mexico. News networks have painted these cruisegoers as poor unfortunate victims of unthinkable hardship. Well, I've got news for you folks aboard the luxury cruise vessel- get the hell over yourselves!
For a week, passengers have had to survive by eating tomato and lettuce sandwiches. Oh, the horror! For a week, passengers haven't had running water. Oh, the humanity! For a week, passengers haven't been able to play Angry Birds or update their Facebook statuses. Good God almighty!
In other words, for one week, passengers had the privilege of seeing what 50% of the world's population have to endure each and every day of their poverty-stricken lives. And they didn't even have to purchase a mud hut or contract malaria for the privilege.
 |
| "I haven't eaten in days and I have malaria. I deserve a tomato sandwich!" |
That's right, you lettuce-munching sissies, be grateful, because you have been given a rare gift- the ability to experience life through through the eyes of much of the rest of the world. It's only unfortunate that your "horrific ordeal" lasted but a few days. Try living in a grass shack in the rain forest of a third-world country for a decade of your life, and then you've earned the right to beg for sympathy. Try living in a desert cave and eating insects before you give an interview to CNN complaining about your terrible, terrible fate.
Do you know what part of this saga is really sad? It's the fact that most of the spoiled idiots aboard the cruise ship won't learn one damn thing from their experience. You know darn well some slick piranha in a necktie (a.k.a. "lawyer") will end up suing the pants off Carnival Cruise Lines, and each and every poor victim aboard will get a rather comfortable chunk of a class-action settlement. And that's in addition to the 500.00 cash compensation Carnival has already given to each of the passengers.
Unfortunately, these dopes in Bermuda shorts will go back to their everyday lives, while tens of thousands around the world will starve to death. They'll write books about their chilling ordeal and appear on Oprah. They'll come down with PTSD and sue some more, claiming that they have been scarred and emotionally disfigured for life. They'll never be able to look at a tomato again without cringing and remembering that horrifying week in 2013 when they had to live like a large percentage of the world's population who aren't fortunate enough to have a nice shiny toilet to piss into.
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